The Comedian

This is the first thing I saw when I got home from work last night.

“Mommy, do you know about American World? Well, it’s dangerous to go there. Because it’s dark there, I saw a picture. I’ll tell you a story about it. I know ONE story about American World. About morning at American World. Once upon a time American World like had desserts and food, yeah yeah! We love food! And books, and flags, shields. And once upon a time, a man that was mean took all the colors! And then all the people was sad, like this *sad face*. And then and then… umm That was the end!”

“Mom! Look! Pink. Pink. They’re both pink! Let’s go look for MORE things to find the differences!”

“My butt is SO awesome for shutting freezers.” (We have one of those bottom pull-out freezers, and she obviously likes to shut it with her butt, ha)

“Stay in bed please.”
“I’ll think about it. I’ll probably choose the bad one.”

“Eeeeek!! That’s German. Eek is German.”

“Some boys don’t have hair. Some boys do. I saw a man with no hair, at Bonkers.”

“Ganondorf just told us to go to a show at his house.”

“There’s no gravity in under water, just like outer space.”

“There’s a church right there.”
“But that’s not the one we’re going to, there are lots of different churches all over the world.”
“Are there churches like… in outer space??”

“I had a dream. Well, it wasn’t a dream. It was a sleep movie. But I don’t remember what movie.”

(After staring very thoughtfully at her sandwich for a few minutes) “So… when bugs land on a flowers, they put something on that poinky thing and that makes honey??”

“When I was in your belly I didn’t cry at all and then you just like ate everything that you can and then I got out of your belly! And then! Um.. And then I goed one to two and then three and then I was older and then I was FOUR year olds! That’s the end.”

“Daddy. You have something on your head!”
Shaun reaches up and feels the top of his head.
“It’s hair.” (she says all nonchalant and just walks away)